Okay…Let’s talk RELATIONSHIPS.
Your relationships with your spouse, your families and your friends…The dynamics of all of them change, some just a little, some a lot, but change is change and it’s difficult for everyone. Today I wanted to touch on relationships with our spouse…Because they are the ones we spend our lives with!
Since my husband and I are high school sweethearts we had already been together for 8 years by the time we had our son. Our foundation has always been extremely strong because of this, but of course we had our share of issues shortly after we had Eli. We were not expecting to welcome our baby into the world a month early, so the shock of that, along with the scariness of being first time parents and the typical lack of sleep amounted to a whole lot of stress for a little while. Little things would be so stressful. I was always used to being early to all of our appointments, now we were showing up late for the pediatrician appointment. I put a TON of pressure on myself to exclusively breast feed. I did not expect all of the issues that came along with it for me (I wrote about this in my World Breastfeeding Week post). Our son was losing weight, I was having a lot of pain, and though my husband was so supportive through it all, there were times when I couldn’t help but to lash out on him because I was so depressed over the entire situation. And then I would hate myself for lashing out on him. I am grateful that I stuck with it though and am still exclusively breastfeeding 5.5 months later.
I also had anxiety for a few months when anyone else other than myself would hold Eli, including my husband. I would always try to tell him how to interact with Eli which would cause some arguments. I had to tell myself to allow my husband to interact with him in whatever way he wanted (and now I love the bond they have with each other 💙).
Aside from those bigger things, pretty much everything changes a little. You’re suddenly never alone, you can’t do the same things you used to do and not to mention you’re trying to keep a tiny human ALIVE (here’s to waking up every two hours 😱)! Instead of snuggling up to your hubby you’re suddenly getting cozy with your baby (and yes, they are the best snuggles ever 🥰), date nights are a thing of the past (especially if your baby will not take a bottle like mine!), and you just look at life in a totally new way because things are just SO different. Things feel like they’ll never be the same again, and they won’t be, but eventually my husband and I fell into a new routine and we were able to find our happiness again. Suddenly we were able to start going with the flow. It took us about two months until we were able to get kind of used to our new normal, but one thing that has not changed is our promptness 🤦🏼♀️
Change is not always a bad thing– most of the time it leads to something better. Sure, almost every marriage goes through some rough patches once kids are thrown into the mix, but life is so much better for us now, and I hope it’s this way in most marriages. We may not be able to do the things we once did and we may show up late for every single event or appointment in our future, but our overall happiness within our marriage and family is high and we owe this all to our son. Who knew a little boy’s laugh could make our faces light up even more than when we would see food headed towards us at our favorite restaurant?! 🤤 It’s hard to remember what life felt like before we even had Eli. It just feels like he was always meant to be in our lives and everything we had done was done to get us to this point with the family we are continuing to build.
I know this isn’t how it is for everyone, this is just my story and I’m very blessed because of it. Sometimes it’s hard to grow within your relationships once your family gets bigger. I believe a happy family starts at the top, so in order to let your family blossom, you need to water the marriage! I’d love to hear what other mommas did within their relationships to get past the initial overwhelming period of welcoming a little bundle of love into their lives. Did you just need to wait it out until a new routine was formed? Work on communicating better or a random date night? Let’s hear it! ❤️
Keep growin’ mommas(no comma)
No Comma Momma
No Comma Momma 