“You look completely different.”
I’ve had people make comments about my appearance before, but I’ve never had someone make what could be taken as a negative comment about my appearance as a (relatively) new mother. I walked into my OBGYN’s office, and these are the words that greeted me. As moms, we usually don’t have the time to do our hair and makeup, I try to do what I can in the car while my husband drives, but I went to this appointment alone and I had to sneak away from my son who was contact napping and dream feeding, and had zero time to do my hair or makeup. I’ve always been very sensitive when it comes to my appearance and the judgement I’ve received from others in the past, but this comment in particular really hit me! I didn’t want to make the woman who said this feel bad about making ME feel bad, so I laughed and then began to make fun of my mom bun and makeup-less face as she laughingly agreed. When I sat down in the lobby I had to hold tears back and I was even more upset that I didn’t stand up for myself. You would think people would know by now to not make comments about others appearances! Especially new mothers, especially in a place that new mothers visit every single day. There should be training on how to be a decent human being and things NOT to say to new moms or even just people in general 🙄 Would she have said that if I had my baby on my hip like I do 99% of the time? Would she have said that if she knew I was up nursing my son all night long?
After my appointment I started thinking to myself, maybe I should take the time to do my hair and makeup even if it’s just to run an errand, maybe I should care about my appearance like I once did, but that would mean taking away time from my son, and I would never choose that unless my husband was watching him and if I actually felt like getting all dolled up, which I rarely, but sometimes do. Like I said, I’ve always struggled with my appearance. I’d like to say I do my makeup for myself only, but usually I’m doing it so that people don’t have to see my rosacea or black circles under my eyes. Lately I’ve been caring less and less because I don’t have a choice really, but comments like that definitely bring me back to a place when I would try to conform to everyone’s idea of beauty, and I hate that. I’m trying to become more accepting of myself and to give myself more credit because mom life is a struggle, but it’s the best struggle there is.
So next time someone makes a comment about the way I look, I’m going to try my hardest to not let them get the best of me because yes, I DO look completely different. My unwashed hair is thrown in a knotty bun almost every day, my skin is red and STILL breaks out, but my baby is cared for, he’s fed, he’s happy, he has a very involved momma, and that makes me the happiest person in the world and us mothers do not have the time for people who pass judgment on us, especially when it comes to our appearance.
Here’s just a little post to remind all of you mommas that you ARE beautiful, your babies think you’re the most beautiful person there is, and that’s really all that matters! I’m going to try not to let the judgement I receive affect me in the future, and I hope that you don’t either. We have way more things to worry about than what people think of us.
Keep shining mommas(no comma)
No Comma Momma ☀️
No Comma Momma 